Remember. Celebrate. Connect.

October is a busy time of year around The Women’s Center. In addition to being the month of orange and black celebrating Halloween, it is also a month filled with a lot of purple for us -- because October is the month that we honor and recognize the impact that domestic violence has on individual lives and the communities we live in. And purple is the color we use to honor that impact. Why purple? Lisa Bianco was a woman from the Midwest, who had left her abusive relationship in the 1980’s and had eventually worked her way up to being a director of the battered women’s program in her community. Lisa was under the impression that her abuser was in jail -- this was before services like Vine Link were available -- and after his release on a temporary furlough, he crossed states lines, found her and killed her in her home. Her favorite color was purple, and as a tribute to her, her friends and family wore this color to honor her memory. The national movement also adopted this color as the one we use to symbolize the three important themes of Domestic Violence Awareness Month -- mourning and remember those who have died because of domestic violence, celebrating those who have survived it, and connecting professionals, survivors and communities that work to end violence. The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence has a project called “Remember My Name,” that memorializes people who have been killed as a result of DV. Some centers set a place at an empty table to symbolize the impact, some people place flags on their agency lawns to signify the numbers of domestic violence murders. In New Jersey, we have a “Silent Witness” program. Silent Witnesses are wooden silhouettes of women that can be placed in any space. On the front of the silhouettes are cards detailing information about the New Jersey victim and her death. Sadly, every year the list of individuals killed by an intimate partner grows. Celebrating survivors in another aspect of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. At The Women’s Center, we show The Clothesline Project in the community, often at local colleges, and show movies and have events that focused on victims that not only survive but thrive. We also have experiential activities like “Walk in Her Shoes,” that help people to understand the impact of domestic violence on the lives of the individual, their families, and the community. Often during training we talk about acts of violence as a ripple effect -- never is the violence impactful only to the victim. The impact expands out to include those who love the victim, those who care for or about the children in that family, and even to the taxpayers who pay for more police, emergency and medical responses when violence occurs in a community. Everyone loses. Connecting people who want to change the acceptance of the cycle of violence is the third focus of domestic violence awareness month. In addition to the 50-odd staff that are employed by The Women’s Center, we have multiple volunteers in the community working as advocates and ambassadors. These volunteers are often the individuals who connect us first with victims -- tell people in their lives and workplaces about The Women’s Center and the work we do. Even after almost 40 years in existence, there are still people who have never heard of us and the work we do. October -- Domestic Violence Awareness Month -- is about honoring the individuals who do the work as well. The next time you see someone wearing a purple ribbon in October or dressed completely in purple or wearing a purple scarf, be sure to let them know you recognize and honor Domestic Violence Awareness Month as well. Remember. Celebrate. Connect.